she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize