So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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