His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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