two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
