I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize