youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
