I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
