the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
