so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
