nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Randomize
