I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
