we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
