Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
you would pick up someone in the library
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
