my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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