I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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