true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
last night I used snow as a chaser
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