at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
