If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just blew my weed a kiss
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
