If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
