She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
