They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
