You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
