Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
