mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
So squirting runs in the family.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
