Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
