so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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