the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
