I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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