Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize