dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
