Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
