I think my vagina is haunted
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
