i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
