just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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