is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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