my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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