We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize