Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
