Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
