Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
