in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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