literally had 100 drinks last night.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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