Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
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