toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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