as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
