Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
