just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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