We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
