good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
