I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
