That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
