What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize