I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
