im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
