my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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