Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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