3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
