he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
