I smell stomach acid.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Randomize
