i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
