her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
