Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
