i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize