so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
