Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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